Wow guys I don't know what got over me. You see last Sunday was a very dark day in my life. I woke up to the sound of rain pattering against my window and the booming sound of thunder off in the distance. Pushing aside empty beer bottles and last nights cigarettes I crawled out of bed to peer through my shades. "Another day gone, lost to my debauchery and poor life choices. I will have to make sure this one counts." In talking to myself I had woken Charlotte, a Carribean hooker I picked up the night before in Apache Junction. "Oi papi, why not come back to bed? You still have much time left," she said coquettishly. "Silly Charlotte" I thought to myself, "I know you are just working for a tip now." Little did she know that I spent my last $2.50 on a 6-pack of PBR.
Walking through the sea of pots and pans that were collecting the rain from my leaky roof I heard my mother rumbling from her room. "Twitch!!! I have had it up to here with you! I've been waiting for 10 hours now for my god damn Neapolitan ice cream!" I look to my left, and there the ice cream stood in all of it's triumphant glory. The ice cream has long since melted, and all that was left was a puddle of chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla delight resting beneath an empty carton. "Mom!" I replied with much embarrassment, "I have friends over! You are starting to embarrass me!" Little did I know that Charlotte had snuck out of my bed and wearing only a tattered bath robe had wrapped her arms around me. "Oi papi" she whispered in my ear, "I never though you were such a fiend for chocolaté ice cream. Tell me, was I a good ice cream cone?" Having no recollection of what she was talking about and getting sick of her accent I kicked her out. My mom must have passed out again because there was nothing but the sweet sound of silence coming from her room. I took a look into my fridge only to find one egg left and that my milk had spoiled a few weeks ago. Greatly distraught I left my room to make way to my computer. I check my email and what I see was what was going to be the beginning of a very, very long day.
I'm going to be turning this into a trilogy so stay posted to find out what happened on my Sunday! Trust me, my post will make a ton of sense once you guys find out what has been going on.